Monday, December 12, 2011

Quotable Quotes: DE vs OE Child

I've been browsing a billion blogs, websites, and forums about egg donation, and I came across this thread:
Do you feel differently about your biological and donor egg children?
Good question, right? The woman elaborates that she and her husband conceived one child using her own egg, but they haven't had any luck with a second, so they're considering using a donor. She goes on to say,
I'm pretty much on board, but I'm worried that somehow I won't bond with the DE child, or that I'll consciously or subconsciously prefer my biological child and mess up my relationship with my DE child. I've seen lots of wonderful posts about how little the genetics actually matter once the child arrives, but I guess I need some reassurance in that regard or if that's not available, at least some candid feedback about the family dynamics that I might expect. Anyone have any feedback?
First of all, I'm completely in love with this woman for so articulately asking such a sensitive question, and I have so much admiration for her openness that it makes me want to cry. (My version of this question was ... well, ... uglier.)

Now, there were loads of knowledgable, wise, and compassionate responses, but this one was by far my favorite:
I have 3 kids - the two youngest via DE ... [and one] genetically related to me ...  I tend to forget that all three aren't via DE. In fact, just the other day, I was wondering if my oldest would ever want to get in touch with his genetic mom. And then I remembered that his genetic mom was, um, me.
How amazing is that?

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