PVED is the Answer

If your questions are:

1. Can someone advise me on choosing a donor?
2. Will I love a donor egg kid as much as I would a biological one?
3. Should I transfer one or two embryos?
4. How do I deal with disclosing to friends and family?

The answer is PVED. Or more specifically, the PVED forum, which you can only access if you have eggs as dysfunctional as mine.

It's seriously the most insightful, knowledgeable, and supportive group I've ever come across, and I'm not even being sarcastic, because I'm never sarcastic! (Except for that last bit.)

PVED (pronounced "PEE-ved") stands for Parents via Egg Donation, and it was started by a DE mom named Marna Gatlin who wanted a community of other DE moms. A decade later, the site is visited by thousands of folks from all over the world.

Now, I'm not going to say that Marna is the most daintily mannered soul on the planet, because she isn't, but blech, who would want that? I need guidance and advice, and I want it from someone who's direct. But she is endlessly caring, generous, thoughtful, insightful, and reflective. She's a hardcore advocate for everything she thinks you and your family deserve based on her dozen years in the field - and she gives the best hugs!

This isn't my first uterine support group. They're all over the web, as you might imagine. But they're ... how should I put this ... OK, so I was a part of one on Facebook, and it was kinda supportive, but mostly it was bitter. Look, bitter is understandable. I was there, so I know bitter. But what I learned from bitter is that it's the armor you put on to protect yourself against sadness and grief. Bitter makes sense, but it's also not what's really going on. And it's ugly.

PVED makes you deal with your shit. Especially Marna. For example, I'd like to think that if Marna met the lady on Facebook who's still trying to conceive after 23 years and 37 miscarriages (yes, really), Marna would have a sit-down that woman. Personally, my hope is that the chat would include some sense-slapping, but that's just me.

So, I'm kind of addicted to this forum, mostly checking out people's responses to questions like Will I love a donor egg kid as much as I would a biological one? and Can someone advise me on choosing a donor?

PVED has answers, and they're really good.