Belly Flop

A conversation at 8 weeks and 1 day.

Me [pointing to my double chin]: Do you see this?

Him: Your gullet?

Me: Just say "yes."

Him: Yes.

Me: Do you know what it means?

Him: That you're fat?

Me: Just say "what?"

Him: What?

Me: It means that we've been cooing at my fat.

Him: No, there's something in there.

Me: What's in there is the size of a grain of rice. The rest is fat.

Him: I thought it was a blueberry.

Me: Either way, it's not a cantaloupe.

Him: You never said what you wanted to for dinner.

Me: I told you.

Him: They don't sell Croissan'wiches at night.

Me: Then mac and cheese.

Him: Are you sure?

Me: Shut up.